IF YOU LIKE A LITTLE TRUTH WITH YOUR HUMOR
READ ON!

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes.
That way if he gets angry he'll be a mile away--and barefoot.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Always yield to temptation because it may not pass your way again.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Eat well-stay fit-die anyway.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

The only time the world beats a path to my door
is when I'm in the bathroom.



Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited
until you try to get into their pews.

Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose,
but the fly and mosquito come close.

When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.

People are funny. They want the front of the bus,
the middle of the road and the back of the church.

Opportunity may knock once,
but temptation bangs on your door for years.

Quit griping about your church;
if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience:
"And in conclusion."

If the church wants a better pastor,
it only needs to pray for the one it has.

Not only are the sins of the fathers visited upon the children,
but nowadays the sins of the children are visited upon the fathers.

God Himself does not propose to judge a man till he is dead.
So why should you?

To make a long story short, don't tell it.

If your left hand doesn't know what your right one is doing,
you should consider running for a job in Washington.

Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

Peace starts with a smile.. :-)

I don't know why some people change churches -
what difference does it make which one you stay home from?

A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises"
are just sitting on the premises.

We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers.

Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds
this country back as much as committees.

~Author/s Unknown~

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Midi Provided by Larrie Dee