A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly,
"Don't pay for me Daddy. I'm under five."

A parson announced from the pulpit one Sunday, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is it is still out there in your pockets."

At the end of a wonderful service the Pastor stood outside to say goodbye to his congregation. As he approached Mrs McKenzie he remarked; "I am sorry Mrs McKenzie but I noticed that little Jimmy was crying throughout the service. Is he alright?". "Sure" said Mrs McKenzie, "He's just teething". "I see" said the Pastor, "and what about your husband? I noticed he was also crying throughout the service". "He's fine" said Mrs McKenzie, "He's just tithing."

Abel and Cain are stranded on a tiny desert island in the Pacific. With no shelter, shade, or food, things are grim. Cain turns to Abel and says "We're going to die!"  Abel smiles and tells Cain "I made a million dollar a year for the last ten years."  Cain frowns.  "What does that matter now, Abel?  We're going to die!" Abel smiles.  "I went to church every Sunday for the last ten years."  Cain looks up in disbelief.  "What does that matter now, Abel?  We're going to die!" Abel laughs.  "I tithed ten percent of my income every year for the last ten years."  Cain grabs Abel and shakes him.  "What does that matter now, Abel?  We're going to die!" Abel tells Cain, "We're not going to die.  My pastor will find me."

"I would like to remind you that what you are about to give is deductible, cannot be taken with you and is considered in the Bible that the love of this is the root of all evil."

A minister received a call from the Internal Revenue Service asking about a member of his church. "He stated on his tax return," said the official, "that he gave three thousand dollars last year to your church. Is that correct?" "I don't have the records here, and I would have to check on it. But I'll say this - if he didn't, he will."

A man died and went to heaven.  He was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter who led him down the golden streets.  They past mansions after beautiful mansions until they came to the end of the street where they stopped in front of a shack. The man asked St. Peter why he got a hut when there were so many mansions he could live in.  St. Peter replied, "I did the best with the money you sent us."