Miss Mona was a single gal,

lived down the road from me;

she had no girlish qualities,

least none that I could see.

I'd seen her nail the roofing on;

I'd watched her slopping hogs,

and every winter for her fire

I saw her chopping logs.

Now one day from my kitchen door,

I heard a dreadful shout;

I hastened to Miss Mona's house

to see what it was about.

You can't imagine my surprise to see

Mone crouching high

on top of her refrigerator

with teardrops in her eye!

I said, Miss Mone, what in the world

has made you so upset?

She hollered, "There's a mouse in here

and that is why I fret!

I saw it scurry 'cross the floor;

it sped beneath my chair,

but when I got my pistol out

and looked, it wasn't there!

Then faster than my expert aim,

it scuttled 'hind the door - -

I fear I've shot my bullets up;

I don't have any more!

I even called the Sheriff up,

told him to come today

and catch the dirty lowdown rat

before he gets away!"

About that time I saw the mouse,

a critter on the run;

I grabbed Mone's empty pistol

and whacked him with her gun.

The rodent lay upon the floor;

I told her he was dead;

"Just get that monster outa here,"

was what Miss Mona said.

I heard the sirens screaming near;

I must've looked aghast

when thirteen deputies approached

with guns, handcuffs, and gas!

Miss Mone dashed toward the kitchen door,

still shaking in her boots;

I heard those deputies exclaim,

"Halt now or we will shoot!"

Now, I don't fault the law because

'twas easy to construe

that Mona was the culprit

as out the door she flew.

I tried to tell 'em that Miss Mone

was fleeing from the house

to put some space between her

and a dead and bloody mouse.

I guess they didn't understand;

they showed no comprehension,

but said, "Stand back, don't interfere

with lawful apprehension."

They seized poor Mone and shook her down

as she commenced to wail,

then slapped the handcuffs on her wrists

and hauled her off to jail.

The moral of this story is,

and two there may be to it:

Appearance is deceiving,

therefore don't misconstrue it.

The second is important --

be sure that it is heeded --

Don't ever, ever call the law

unless they're really needed.

Copyright ©1994 Ruth Gillis

"Miss Mona And The Mouse Brigade"
received a Second Place Award
in the March 1998 issue of Poet's Review.

All poetry written by Ruth Gillis is copyrighted and may not be used in any way without express written permission from the author herself, whether it is found on this site or any other. If you would like to use her poetry for any purpose, please email her for permission. ruthgill@worldnet.att.net