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Then
in the evenings I'll ponder one of the world's great
mysteries:
Why Did
the Chicken Cross the Road?
MOSES:
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken
crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX
MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own
eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road
before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken
did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT
cross the road.
JERRY
SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean,
why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck
was this chicken doing walking around all over the place,
anyway?"
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying insecurity.
BILL
GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office
2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay
eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
chequebook.
OLIVER
STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken
cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the
road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste
to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically
dispositioned to cross roads.
GRANDPA: In my day, we
didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that
was good enough for us.
MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever
motive there was.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken
crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken
depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH
WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the
road; it transcended it.
ERNEST
HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL
SANDERS: I missed one?
DR.
SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he
cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

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