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Then
in the evenings I'll ponder one of the world's great
mysteries:
Why Did the Chicken Cross the
Road?
MOSES:
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto
the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken
crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX
MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How many more chickens have to cross the road before
you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road.
I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
JERRY
SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was
this chicken doing walking around all over the place,
anyway?"
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying insecurity.
BILL
GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000,
which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs,
file your important documents, and balance your chequebook.
OLIVER
STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross
the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road
at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to
observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically
dispositioned to cross roads.
MARTIN
LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having their motives
called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed
the road, and that was good enough for us.
MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who
cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever
motive there was.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the
road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame
of reference.
BUDDHA:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH
WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road; it
transcended it.
ERNEST
HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL
SANDERS: I missed one?
DR.
SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but
why it crossed, I've not been told!
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken
has gone before.

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