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Christmas
of 1992, I called my mother
early in the morning because
I knew it would be my only
chance for her to hear my
voice on this day that was
so special to her, a day
that once was special to
me. I spent it alone, drunk,
sleeping the day away. This
is the worst Christmas memory
I hope to ever hold in the
crevices of my brain. Though
also, I never wish to forget
it, because that is the
day my life shall return
to that hopelessness despair
I called life.
It
was the Christmas of 2004,
that brought out what Christmas
Spirit is to me. I had been
sober for only a little
over a month when the first
Christmas song chimed out
over the radio at the ending
of October. Today, people
groan when Christmas music
is played so far in advance,
but in 2004, it was the
welcoming of a brand new
Christmas and new traditions
to be made. This would be
the most special Christmas
of my life.
Come
with me, to see Christmas
Spirit through the eyes
of an alcoholic. It was
6 days spent with needle
and thread sewing a popcorn
garland for a 1 foot Christmas
tree that sat on the middle
of the mantle of what would
be my home with my husband
four years down the road.
It was walking, and not
swaying through the Dollar
Tree, for stockings that
I would write names on in
glitter, and shopping for
cheap chocolates to place
inside them on Christmas
Eve. I even bought a Christmas
shirt to wear for the great
event of Christmas morning.
This
was not only going to be
my first sober Christmas
since I was 17, but the
first one with a man I loved
and a German Shepherd that
had become my daughter.
This year will mark 6 years
of a tradition we made of
watching 'A Christmas Story'
together.
I
hadn't been sober long enough
to find work, nor any means
of getting there yet, so
I donated plasma four times
in November to buy my first
Christmas presents in several
years.. I spent some of
the money on a Ham and other
fixings and made the biggest
feast on Christmas Day.
Oh what a grand celebration
it was. I found Christmas
Sprit in the warmth of what
God had blessed me with
and not the warmth and loneliness
at the bottom of a bottle.
It was my first Christmas
Day without a hangover in
so many years.
Christmas
morning came at 6 a.m. and
I cried as I watched my
husband and Lady Bear open
their small but meaningful
gifts I had bought with
love. Lyndel cried as he
noticed a small handmade
stocking I had cross stitched
for him that was hanging
from the mantle.. As we
held hands and prayed over
the meal I'd so passionately
made for the man I loved,
I thanked God for keeping
me sober on Christmas Day
and I asked Him to watch
over the others that were
like me, that had not found
their Christmas Spirit.
When
you hear that first Christmas
song played this year, think
of the alcoholic that will
be spending Christmas alone,
under a bridge, or in her
car because she knows no
other way. Oh how she would
love to be in your car as
you groan when they play
Joy to the World 59 times
in the beginning of November.
When you sit down to your
Christmas Dinner this year
and bow your head over that
delicious ham that God provided
you with, say a prayer that
everything go just right
for the alcoholic that is
preparing her first meal
so gratefully, so appreciatively
for the gift of Christmas
Spirit.
While
you're strolling around
filling your cart up at
Wal-Mart buying your Christmas
gifts, try not to complain
that the store is overcrowded.
Think of the alcoholic that
is laying on her back at
the plasma center, donating
to buy presents at the Dollar
Tree for the ones God has
given her to love and cherish.
As the holidays approach
soon and as we remember
the birth of our Savior,
I beg of you to find your
Christmas Spirit.
Christy
©
Christina Lynch October
17, 2009
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